Watch out, be careful! How to prepare your children.
(As always this is just my personal reflection, not science)
As a parent you try to prepare your children, from their early years, for the life that`s coming their way. We try to make sure that they can tell right from wrong, too make sure that they can identify and avoid possible dangers coming their way and so on..
It`s a tough job to get another human being, not only to survive, but to also feel good about themselves, about life as it is and gicing them all the neccessary tools they might need to make the best out of life.
I belive that every parent question their own ability as a parent atleast once a year and in some cases, much more often then that!
When we talk about others parenting in social media for example we rarely do it for a "good reason". very often we get into the subject by seeing a video of a parent being a total jerk, a child that is unprotected from abuse and so on. You can probably think of some examples liket that on your own now when I mention it?
It`s a tough job to get another human being, not only to survive, but to also feel good about themselves, about life as it is and gicing them all the neccessary tools they might need to make the best out of life.
I belive that every parent question their own ability as a parent atleast once a year and in some cases, much more often then that!
When we talk about others parenting in social media for example we rarely do it for a "good reason". very often we get into the subject by seeing a video of a parent being a total jerk, a child that is unprotected from abuse and so on. You can probably think of some examples liket that on your own now when I mention it?
However, there are some things that we seldom see. We seldom see the "Watch-out-be-careful-thats-dangerous-parents".
Anyone of you readers starting to get a feeling what I`m talking about here? Maybe a not too pleasant feeling in your stomach right now?
Maybe, that could be you? Maybe, you are that parent I`m talking about here? Or maybe you have been one of those?
No worries, I`ll raise my hand first, I`ve been one of those.
As a mother I used to try to protect my children from everything that possibly could go wrong. And I must admit it even after the thought I`ll soon be presenting here hit me it`s sometimes a struggle to avoid it.
I want you to imagine this; A 25+ woman (Quite alot of plus but 40+ seems so old doesnt it?) at the playground with two kids aged 6 and 4. The kids seem so happy to be there as they enter the playground, rushing off to examine exactly every single object on that playground. They want to try out the slide, the swings and they want to do this and that and have you seen that thing, well you get the picture. But instead of sharing their joy, the mother turns into a freaking terminator-eyed-robot searching the grounds for dangers. It doesnt have to be obvious dangers like snakes in the grass or glass on the ground. If you look for possible dangers you will find it!
Photo by G-R Mottez on Unsplash
Suddenly everyone around can hear the womans voice, all over the playground; "Dont run, you may fall", "Dont jump off that, you might hurt yourself", "Nooo, dont climb that, do you remember what happened the last time you climbed something you werent supposed to?", "Dont play with that stick, you might poke out your sisters eye" and so on.. (I might be exaggerating a bit here but its for you to get the picture better).
What does this do to a 4 year old and a 6 year old? Will they be able to explore the world, learn new stuff that will be useful to them further on in life? Well, yes, it might actually keep them alive a bit longer. You know what else it will do? It will make them see red flags and hearing alarms go off as soon as they try to do something on theur own since they will be so used to their mother telling them to avoid everything and they will also start seeing the world as a very scary place were dangers lurks exactly everywhere, and especially at fun places. Those places where you are supposed to relax, enjoy the moment and have fun.
What does this do to a 4 year old and a 6 year old? Will they be able to explore the world, learn new stuff that will be useful to them further on in life? Well, yes, it might actually keep them alive a bit longer. You know what else it will do? It will make them see red flags and hearing alarms go off as soon as they try to do something on theur own since they will be so used to their mother telling them to avoid everything and they will also start seeing the world as a very scary place were dangers lurks exactly everywhere, and especially at fun places. Those places where you are supposed to relax, enjoy the moment and have fun.
And another it will show them is that they are the main reason to their mother being all stressed out since she gets so nervous about what they are doing that she just cant share their joy.
In the long run that could actually later be translated, in the childs brain to adapt to other situations and cause anxiety problems. No parent wants that for their child.
Get me right here, you need to pay attention to possible dangers and risks for your child, it`s a part of your job as a parent. Just pay some attention to how you actually do it, will you?
How do you act? What could you do better? Or have you been like this and something made you change? What made you change and how did you do it?
How do you act? What could you do better? Or have you been like this and something made you change? What made you change and how did you do it?
Have a great day!
/Sara, Hypnosar