Are you sure that you miss all of it?
I`m sitting here thinking dreaming back to a period in my younger days when I was playing soccer.
I were never a great footballer, rather the opposite.
But I really liked the feeling of belonging somewhere, to a group of other people. We shared the same goal, depending on the eachothers efforts to achieve our goals, having plenty of fun - together.
But I really liked the feeling of belonging somewhere, to a group of other people. We shared the same goal, depending on the eachothers efforts to achieve our goals, having plenty of fun - together.
All of that, combined, meant alot to me, a teenage girl, trying to find her place in the world and her strategies to make it into adulthood.
Several of the memories that comes into my mind makes me smile, those are also the most vivid ones.
There is, however, other memories that doesnt appear as clear to me. They are from the same period of time, the same surroundings, same people but those memories cant really be called as positive as the ones that I first mentioned.
I have to focus a bit harder to bring those memories out in the light, they feel a bit more.. cloudy you might call it.
A few mean words, the feeling of not being good enough, the totally boring passing-exercises that I still never got really good at, not to mention the feeling of being lazy for not being able to run as long or fast as some my teammates.
There is, however, other memories that doesnt appear as clear to me. They are from the same period of time, the same surroundings, same people but those memories cant really be called as positive as the ones that I first mentioned.
I have to focus a bit harder to bring those memories out in the light, they feel a bit more.. cloudy you might call it.
A few mean words, the feeling of not being good enough, the totally boring passing-exercises that I still never got really good at, not to mention the feeling of being lazy for not being able to run as long or fast as some my teammates.
As I go through my archive of memories, another time where the same thing appears to have happened appears;
The day when I gave birth to my firstborn, my eldest son, he who gave me all the strength I needed to make it through all the struggles that I`ve gone through since then.
I know it was a long delivery, I also know that it was truly painful, but today I cant imagine the pain at all. It`s like it never was here, I have a fuzzy memory of some pain in the back but not more then that.
But the good parts, my son being put on my chest, the amazing feeling of that baby being mine, exact words between me and the staff at the hospital, even a nurses hand nad the wrinkles on it while doing a specific thing -I rmeember those clearly. All of the positive in that moment is way more vivd then the negative memories who are almost hard to remember at all.
The day when I gave birth to my firstborn, my eldest son, he who gave me all the strength I needed to make it through all the struggles that I`ve gone through since then.
I know it was a long delivery, I also know that it was truly painful, but today I cant imagine the pain at all. It`s like it never was here, I have a fuzzy memory of some pain in the back but not more then that.
But the good parts, my son being put on my chest, the amazing feeling of that baby being mine, exact words between me and the staff at the hospital, even a nurses hand nad the wrinkles on it while doing a specific thing -I rmeember those clearly. All of the positive in that moment is way more vivd then the negative memories who are almost hard to remember at all.
Someone ones told me that it has to be like that or we would only give birth to one child and we need to reproduce as a specie. That is a very likely theory I`d say, and it`s a brilliant strategy for that purpose.
If the brain would do the same thing at other moments in life, choosing to remember the positive and dampen the negative, is there any moments where we could actually benefit from being conscious about that strategy and its existence?
Could we be able to benefit from that knowledge in some situations, reminding ourselves about the negative parts connected to a memory?
Maybe, if we were mistreated by someone and excused that person with him or her having a bad day or something and that they would never normally.. Maybe the truth is that the vary same person actually have been doing us wrong before but we have faded the memory of that happening?
Maybe, this would be a good thought to have as a tool while going through a separation, for example? An awareness that there is a risk that we reduce whats been bad in the relationship and instead remember the positive things instead?
What do you think? Can you come up with any more examples of this, where you`ve experienced it yourself? Maybe you can come up with some more times in life where we could benefit from this awareness, others then the ones that I gave you here?
I wish you a great day, life is what you make it!
Sara /Hypnosar