"She would belive that I´m nuts.."
The man in front of me has just explained to me the problems he is experiencing that he belive is stopping him from living his life to it`s fullest. Stress, anxiety, a deep fear of something terrible could happen to one of his loved ones have all been mentioned.
I look at him and carefully ask if his wife is aware of what he is going through? If this is something they have spoken about at home at any point?
He looks surprised when he looks me in the eyes and replies;
"No, no I can`t tell her. She wouldn`t understand, she would think that I´m nuts and tell me to seek professional help!".
In my mind I get tossed back to a time in my life where I used to do the exact same thing. I were so convinced that there was something wrong with meand that others wouldn`t understand that I never actually gave them a chance to understand.
Apparently I had appointed myself as the Worldchampion in deciding how others looked at the world and what they would, or wouldn`t think.
Whenever there was a time where I had to express my opinion about something I experienced I never just told them straight out how I felt, I had to also explain it in 100`s of different ways as well.
I belive it was a brave attempt from my side to make sure that I got understod and that I could reach the person I was talking to for the moment. Looking back on it now I realize that it was also a great way to show that I somehow underestimated that persons intelligence.
"You probably wont understand me unless I keep explaining this in a million more ways so that we both end up feeling really confused about it!"
Photo by Mark Pan4ratte on Unsplash
Today I handle things differently. I have another knowledge about the issue that I lacked back then. I can still remember all of my old patterns that I used but I have replaces them for new ones that will help me move forward instead of keeping me back.
Back in the days if someone ha said exactly what the man in front of me told me at this moment my first thoughts would have been that he had real issues within his marriage, that he didnt have enough confident in his wife or didnt trust her. I might even had gone so far that I would have judged her as not paying attention to her husbands worries.
This time instead, the first thing that pops into my mind is to challenge him;
"Are you really sure that she would think that?"
"How can you be sure unless you have tried it?"
As human beings we often expect others to "see when something is wrong", or see that we aren`t feeling our best, we feel mistreated if they dont, many of us can even take it a step further; We know what others think about us. We know that they speak in a negative way about us when we ain`t around and very often we know exactly what they are saying in those moments as well.
I do belive that we have a superpower withing us in such moments. I also have the perfect name for it: "Unworthy".
"Unworthy" makes us able to read others thoughts, how great ain`t that? And not only that, it also makes being able to place thoughts into others brains even thought its actually our own thoughts about our own value it`s all about.
"Unworthy" can also give us the power to know in advance what other people will day, both to us and about us, even though the person we are thinking about isn`t really invited to the conversation considering the that conversation takes place in our own, silent, mind where noone else can hear it.
How about, next time that you experience somthing simular to this, that you question your own thoughts about what someone else feels or thinks or how they will react to something?
I mean, the worst that could happen is that you get those "negative" thoughts confirmed adn after that you can truly say that you know. Before that you only think that you know. That could be quite a difference when it comes to someone playing a key-role in your life, right?
Have a great day and dont forget to smile!
/Sara, Hypnosar