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I spoke to a friend of mine the other day.

I heard her as she stated that she didnt really FEEL that other people cared about her, she rather felt that they were there because they were expected to be there.

 

And it crossed my mind then and there that I definatly were right there, at that moment, beause I wanted to be there. I started to wonder what she really was saying to herself about herself in that moment.

 

So I asked her; "Who are you? If I asked someone else to describe you to me, what would they tell me about you? What would I hear?"

 

For a second my friend seemed like she had frozen, my question clearly had taken her by surprise. But probably not as much of surprise as the one I had when I heard her response..

 

She said very demeaning things about herself, to  mention some "needy", "pain in the a**", "always wanting a favor" and the list just went on. My jaw basically dropped to the ground by hearing her saying those things about herself. I could feel her pain right inside of me. She carried on with so many negative things that I had to shake my head before interrupting her, I couldnt listen anymore.

 

"Are you absolutely sure that that is what someone would say if they described you? Because, to be honest, my picture of you doesnt even include one of all those negative things that you are saying now.  Could it be that, what you are giving me now is Your own words about yourself?"

 

She didnt reply at first. After a while she claimed that all those things were her, she was just like that.

 

I`ve known this woman for many years of my life, and I had never even had one of those words in mind when thinking of her.

 

With this post, I want you to pay a bit more attention to what words you say to yourself. Because, you see, when we feel low in any way, we tend to be more negative towards ourselves. If we keep repeating things as "Helpless", "naive" "stupid" and so on, how will we ever be something else or see our place in the world in any other way? Most of us have people around us, and they are there for a reason. The reason probably isnt because we are so "stupid". The reason is much more likely that we represent something positive for them..

Have  a great day!

 

/Sara, Hypnosar

PS. Check out my video on Facebook where IVe opened up to answering questions you might have about behaviors and so on: Hypnosar at Facebook